From the Desk of Pennwell Gray

We all have boundaries. Boundaries are defined as ‘a line that marks the limits of an area, a dividing line.’ And for those of us who say what we mean, mean what we say, others attempt at ‘good will’ may be politely rebuked – or, in extreme cases, outwardly refused – and inwardly bothersome.

Then we’re the bad guy, right?!

Some people mean well, they truly do. They believe that despite what is said, their acts of good will are sure to please – or sure to change your mind, convincing you that what you wanted, wasn’t what you wanted. “I’m not going to listen to you. I’m going to do what I think is best for you.”

And this is a very gray area. A fuzzy line to walk. For some, that may work. For others, not so much.

But when you tell others, “I’ll be there for you, whatever and whenever you need,” trust that. Crossing that line and insisting on doing what you think is good for them, may not be good for anyone. Some people want to be heard, do know what they want, and trust that others will respect that.

It’s a tough line to walk, I know. I want to help the world, and I’ve learned the hard way that some people want to be left alone.

This is when social skills come in. This is when we’re attuned to others vs. thinking we know what’s best for them – if it’s the latter, then it’s about us. Watch, listen, and learn – then make the best decision, a decision that is good for those you think need your help – not for you and what you think is best.

I recall spending a weekend with my family out in Pennsylvania. When helping out in the kitchen, I caught a glimpse of my great-aunt glaring at my actions, a blank stare on her face. I directly asked, “What am I doing wrong? How do you want this done? Help me, help you.” Her initial reaction was shock, as I called her out on her non-verbal behavior. Then, in her next breath, “I put the butter over there.” Victory! I was then able to help her in the way that she wanted. Yet if I hadn’t been bold, the weekend may have been a disaster!

If we all just sat back and listened, then observed, so much drama in life would be eliminated. When you disregard what others say, not so good. On the flip side, few are honest. Some may appreciate the subtle takeover. But for those who are busy minding their own business while you’re minding theirs ….

Boundaries are there to be respected – not crossed.

 

The U.S. Olympic Men’s Hockey Team – what role models! These young men are testaments to humility, respect, and civility. They are winners not only because their athletic talent and prowess earned them the Gold Medal, but because of their character and integrity. They’ve genuinely expressed respect for all – no matter what political party one follows, whether they like this administration or not – while reminding us all what patriotism means.

They are the definition of patriotism.

It not only baffles, yet saddens, me that people have grown so ignorant, disrespectful, and obnoxious. If I followed the masses, I’d be convinced that Trump is responsible for anything that goes wrong in my life. Many who bash how he speaks are no more eloquent or diplomatic, and often stoop to lower forms of expression.

No country is perfect. No President is forever. We’ve stopped discussing and started bashing. We’ve stopped listening, educating, and negotiating and replaced it with projection, sound-bytes, and violence. But I am, and always will be, proud to be an American. I will stand for the Flag. I will honor and remember those who served our country.

This could be a full piece, but it’s a blog post, and it must be brief.

Thank you to these young men who are proud to be Americans – as am I. Thank you for outclassing so many with your dignified and respectful responses to those who opposed your attending the State of the Union, graciously accepting the invitation. Thank you for being role models for all ages.

I. Am. Done. Not only one full sentence, but three. As I half-tuned in to television commercials, I then found myself scratching my head.

All-natural sleep aids. GLP-1 weight loss drugs. Eczema injections. Red and green gummies to ensure vegetable consumption.

Wellness is a business. The wellness industry is capitalizing on today’s human beings wanting to feel fabulous. We want to look, feel, and believe we’re fabulous. Perfect sleep. Perfect nutrition. Perfect fitness. All about us. We can’t live fully or care for others until we are functioning at our highest. Ha!

Continue reading “The Commercialization of Wellness.”

I read something this week about messy houses and dirty floors equating to a life well lived. It may signify love, laughter and activity. Or it may mean you’re busy with other things. It’s not a sign of failure. It’s human!

I’m compulsively neat. If you saw my bedroom in high school, you’d never believe it yet today, everything has its place. Things get put away. Rooms get tidied up. And there’s no such thing as chaos. I’m usually surrounded by calm, quiet, and solitude with my fur-mate.

Continue reading “Embrace the chaos.”

A new home baker turned pro has hit the streets in my town in a newly established commercial kitchen. I’d seen some posts when cruising social media platforms and after reading her story and mission, I was sold. It took me a few weeks to place the first order, yet when I did, I utterly enjoyed the thoughtfulness it took to do so. I had to look forward and determine what the week would look like and ensure what I ordered would be savored and not go to waste. With my parents temporarily calling my place home, I knew I could order more than I would as a single home dweller. Continue reading “Shopping Local.”

In overhearing news segments from various channels, I scratched my head. What I listened to was a lot of angry people, people who want to incite others in an effort to ensure those people are as angry as they are. We hear small audio clips of some, not all, information, then go off to spread that message – and it spreads like a cancer, one that is terminal for us all.

Continue reading “What happened to us?”

There are times in life when we find ourselves running on empty. We go through the motions, rushing from task to task. We manage our commitments and tackle our responsibilities. We work tirelessly and socialize when we can, yet there is a disconnect – a numb indifference that doesn’t allow us to connect deeply or be, never mind stay, in the present.

Continue reading “Running on empty.”

As I exited a Boston hospital this evening, cold air hitting my face, I inhaled deeply as I walked to the valet at a hurried pace.

I submitted fully to the moment, reflecting upon how incredible it felt to breathe in the winter night, my lungs ecpanding, filled with the fresh, crisp air, then slowly and deliberately exhaling the pain, sadness, and confinement an ICU mandates.

Having stood aside my aunt, overheard the calls for help in the next ICU bed, and observed multiple monitors, the fresh air reminded me of how fortunate a majority of us are to breathe it in.

Buckled in the car, hitting the road, I was rapidly reminded of how crazy drivers are on the road. No directionals, no courtesy for fellow drivers, and road rage at an all-time high. This was definitely heightened by the holiday frenzy!

As I navigated the highways, I found myself angry that people are so ugly.

Why not slow down. Let another driver into the lane. Use a directional. Maybe think of all those fighting for their lives tonight.

As you’re speeding along for whatever reason, there are floors full of people in local hospitals clinging to life. Tubes, medicines, and monitors. The flutter of an eye, grip of a hand, change in breathing. The hope that something will change – and this person will make it. Hospital staff who haven’t seen the outside of an ICU in daylight for 72 or more hours.

What could be more important than this?

For those fighting for their lives tonight. We see you. We are here for you. We love you.

Please pray for my aunt. Please pray for my father. Please pray for all of those who need prayers.

And please keep me strong enough to pour energy and hope into those who need it.

This week found me at a new doctor and as I was ushered into the exam room, I was told that the nurse practitioner would be in shortly.

When the door opened and a young lady stepped over the threshold, I stood to greet her, extending my hand – yes, the once commonplace handshake that COVID interrupted. For some, that gesture which complements an introduction may never happen again. It’s often replaced with a fist bump, an elbow bump or a puzzled expression that asks, ‘do you really expect me to touch you?’

As I extended my hand and the lady in scrubs lightly shook it, she stated with a raised eyebrow that she was not the nurse and ‘just’ the medical assistant. The look on her face was one of surprise, and her comment to me implied that she didn’t feel important or worthy. It insinuated that she may have felt that she didn’t deserve such a personal, or professional, greeting.

Shaking her hand I replied, ‘yes, and it’s nice to meet you.’ As I answered her flurry of questions during intake, I couldn’t help but reflect upon how sad it was that this young woman didn’t feel her role on the healthcare team was important. That she may have felt that she didn’t deserve the same respect or recognition as a full-fledged nurse or doctor.

How sad. I wondered how many people treat her less than or barely acknowledge her at all. Her job is important. If it wasn’t, it wouldn’t exist. And she deserves respect simply because she is a human being, a professional, and a person interacting with another person. Civility. Courtesy. Consideration. Simple gestures that mean so much.

I am a realist and fully aware that there are countless people in this world who treat others accordingly – in their minds – based on their education level, social status, or financial means. In a culture that boasts inclusivity and diversity, there is still an undercurrent of superficiality and pretentiousness. An entitlement or privilege. An expectation that they should be served, that they are ‘better than.’

When you greet someone properly, such acknowledgment can smooth relations, enhance communications, and increase the chances for a positive overall experience.

How do you treat others? Do you have any biases? Do you hold some professions in high esteem while looking down upon others?

Rise when someone walks into a room. Extend your hand. And sincerely let that person know you’re glad to meet him or her.

Everyone deserves respect and recognition.

Today we honor and celebrate the Cold Moon, the final Super Moon of 2025. It peaked at 6:14 pm ET and how lucky we were to experience its brilliant illumination in between blustering snow squalls.

Winter lights a fire in my soul, igniting joy and inspiring creativity. I love the beauty of fresh snow and the uniqueness of each flake that falls. I love breathing in the cold, clean air scented with smoke from neighboring wood stoves. I love the sound of animals plodding their way through the iced conservation land that borders my home late at night, and the hoot of a barred or snowy owl perched in a tree.

Combine all of this with a bright moon, twinkling stars, and a moody sky and I simply cannot get enough. The time of year doesn’t matter when it comes to lunar cycles – each is special, and significant to me. Whether it be the black moon on a summer eve when some night critters chatter loudly with minimal fear of being seen by predators, a new moon when we set intentions and start anew, or a full moon like tonight when we let go of what no longer serves us – there is an extraordinary kind of magic and enchantment.

Tonight’s full moon is spectacular. If you’re sensitive to lunar cycles, you’ll relate. But if you’re not sure, you may actually feel it if you pay close attention. Are you unusually anxious or emotional? Happy or serene?Are you off kilter in some way, yet can’t put your finger on it? Before you smirk and shirk at this, take a moment and reflect. It’s not witchy – it’s in the Farmer’s Almanac.

Water is estimated to make-up 60-70% of the human body. There is no substantial proof that the moon pulls on our bodies, however, it does affect ocean tides thus most likely impacts us as well. I believe it does.

So tonight, after the peak illumination, I was compelled to grab my gloves and head outside for an invigorating walk under the moonlit sky. With all the madness that is going on in our world along with accumulative responsibilities and stressors happening in my own life, I craved nothing more than to clear my mind and move my body on this picture perfect night. The reality that tonight’s temps will drop to 3 degrees hit hard and turned me around sooner than I anticipated, yet my spontaneous push outside was just what my soul needed.

May you all make the time to experience the magic of moonlight.